8 Signs that your semi-blind date will not be followed by another

(Purely hypothetical of course)


1. You start the night off on the line "I think I'll just have a drink instead."

2. The waiter looks at you, then looks at him then seems to think "how the hell did this happen?" You might be delusional and/or projecting, but either way you find yourself wondering the same thing.

3. You position your purse between the two of you on the sofa, and move it further away from you during the course of the night. One hour later it's 1.5 meters away, pressed right up against him as he's sitting there squished in the corner.

4. You use conversation topics as deterrents of physical contact of any kind. Some ideas include: the heavy perogy dinner you had an hour ago, your father (watch him jump), assorted emotional baggage.

5. You have more chemistry with the waiter than you do with your date. This is confirmed every time he stops by your table to fill your glass.

6. In an effort to avoid talking about yourself (too misleading), you ramble on and on about nothing. You end a 10 minute nonsense monologue with a quizzical expression and wonder what the hell just came out of your mouth. Then it's back to silent sipping.

7. You spend the many awkward silences plotting how you will casually inform your date that he's been downgraded to the friend zone. That or what's on tv later tonight.

8.You spend the car ride home telling yourself NO. MORE. CRAIGSLIST. (seriously Self, for good this time, ok?)


Ahhh... "For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?" Thank you Ms. Austen.